Friendships Change After Kids: Here’s How to Handle It

It likely comes as no surprise to you that life changes a lot when your kids enter the world!  Your sleep schedule, body, attitude, and general priorities all shift the second you hold that little on in your arms.  And while you may expect your social life to change, you might be surprised to hear that friendships can change, too!

While you may find yourself much closer to those that have kids as well, you may see shifts between you and your friends in different life stages!  Those friends still have time to Netflix and chill, go out for cocktails, and talk for hours on the phone, while you just….don’t. But it doesn’t mean your friendships have to be over — things just have to change a little!

Scheduling

Understandably, after Bitsy is born, your schedule is going to change….a lot.  You now have another human to feed, clothe, and put to sleep! This means that friends may no longer be able to just swing by, and you’ll need to fit them in your schedule.  Not only that, you’ll need to ask your friends to respect the schedule chosen — there’s nothing worse than when a pal shows up 30 minutes to an hour late and disrupts naptime!

 

Compromise

Maintaining a friendship after kids requires a lot of compromise on both ends.  Your pals will need to accept that being a mom may prevent you from frequenting your old hangs as often as you used to!  Being a mom means a lot less weekends out — but it doesn’t mean you can never go out! On the flipside, make sure you schedule some sitter time, so you can enjoy a girls night out and some cocktails occasionally!

 

Communication

Your friends (especially those without kids) may not understand or know how to help you in these new stages of parenthood.  Keeping them in the loop with things you’d like help with or times you need an ear can help them provide the new type of friendship you need!  Also make sure you communicate that sometimes, you just need to enjoy your new family — if you need space, that’s perfectly fine, too.

 

Add some “mom friends”

While you can still love your friend-less pals, you’re going to want to pick up some friends that know what you’re going through!  Parenthood can feel a little lonely if none of your friends understands what it’s like to raise a tiny human. Try to find a network in your community and reach out!

 

The friendship is going to change

There’s no ifs, ands, or buts about it, things are going to change when you have children.  It’s up to you and your pals to decide if the distance between you grows, or if your friendship gets even stronger!

 

When both sides make an effort and keep the communication open, it sets a great tone for all of your friendships!  Enjoy navigating this new chapter of life — being a parent is one of the best feelings there is!