How to Survive Temper Tantrums

September 7, 2018 | By Amanda Anderson | Category: Lifestyle, Mental Health, Toddler, Wellness

Oh, the temper tantrum.  That moment when you can go from blissful playtime to full-blown meltdown in 30 seconds flat.  It’s no surprise that they’re often called The Terrible Twos, because right around 24 months is when bitsies begin to vocalize their emotions in different ways — often tantrums.  And no matter how much you love your Bitsy, tantrums suck.  But they don’t have to!  We’ve got some top tips and tricks on how to survive even the worst temper tantrum, and get back to playtime….fast!

Why do temper tantrums happen?

Tantrums begin happening when Bitsy’s language skills begin to develop.  They find themselves with some of the words, but not quite all to be able to articulate exactly what’s wrong.  This results in additional frustration, which then leads to exaggerated behavior like kicking, screaming, and crying.  Around this time, they’re experiencing some independence, and want it all! Realizing that they can’t is what causes these meltdowns over dessert, putting their shoes in, taking a nap, and so on.

In fact, the logical part of our brains doesn’t even fully develop until 25.  Years, not months!  No wonder your toddler is so upset over their socks!


What can I do to help?

The good news is, there are a great number of things you can do to deescalate the situation and help your Bitsy calm down from their tantrum!  Letting Bitsy feel heard and understood is just as much a part of the process as calming them down and making sure it doesn’t happen again!

Use a calm voice.  You can’t expect Bitsy to calm down if your voice is raised and excited, too!  Try keeping your voice low, slow, and calm when discussing the issue with your little one.  You’ll be amazed at how quickly their voice will start to match yours.

Put their feelings into words for them.  Simply saying something like, “I understand that you’re very mad that you can’t have another cookie before dinner” gives them the words they’ve been looking for!  You’ve acknowledged their anger and that you understand the cause of it — this may not fix the problem entirely, but will help them understand that there are words to articulate their feelings!

Empathise with them.  You get it, Mama!  Ever been on a diet and all you want is a piece of chocolate cake, but you can’t have it?  It’s frustrating! Let Bitsy know that you’ve been there, too, and how you handled it instead–by keeping yourself busy with something else!

Get on their level.  Stoop down to meet them and offer a hug.  This can help little ones calm down much quicker knowing they’re still loved despite the issues at hand.

Give them a glass of water.  Asking Bitsy to focus on taking a drink or two will take a lot of their brainpower away from the tantrum, creating a calmer situation for both of you.


After your toddler starts calming down, try some deep breathing exercises and reintroduce something to take their mind off things.  Now is a great time to restart playtime, play some music and dance, and just get them back to being their bouncy selves again! Don’t worry, Mama, temper tantrums will pass just like everything else!